Day 36 - Defensive

RE my previous post:

I think I developed this... defensive mechanism to cope whenever I feel a threat. Maybe to be more specific, aggressive-defensive. Doesn't quite explain, so let me explain.

I like to think I'm an empath. So when I sense a bit of a shift in tone from someone i.e. them trying to take advantage of me or take a jab at me, I'll raise my defense up and hold my stance, sometimes to the point it feels too forceful. I'll even reflect that I shouldn't have done that even when the person might actually not mean anything.

Or I take an aggressive stance first before the person gets the chance to say anything else. I might come off a bit aggressive than my usual personality, but it's also part of my defensive mechanism in not wanting to be pushed around.

I'm generally a nice person, and reserved too. Really. but I absolutely hate it when people take advantage of that. And so, somehow this mechanism got created.

I don't know whether this is a good thing, but I'm careful about it. And try to reflect on it when it happens. How can I be better at managing my emotions? How can I better express my feelings towards others? Do I want to end up like the said person and treat other people the same?