Day 43 - Shy

Sometimes I think about how I could accomplished so much more if I weren't so shy. Sometimes I think about the person I could have become if I weren't so shy.

I wasn't quiet and reserved from the beginning, you see. I was active, a social butterfly when I was much younger. My mum used to tell me how talkative I was and was bold to do things. That completely changed when I was enrolled into a Chinese primary school. My mum told me that I hated the school and wanted to leave. She also told me that she regretted not listening to me back then.

From high school to my early days at work, I regretted a lot of things I hadn't done and missed out because I didn't push myself more and I didn't put myself out there. Lots of lost opportunities. I could have done so much more. All the should haves, could haves, would haves didn't happen. There is so much regret in me. But how could I have known back then?

I try not to dwell in the past that much these days. I think I've gotten better. I'm using the internet to my advantage - talking to a lot of new people, making a few friends along the way, putting myself more out there, you know? I've become much more open to people and especially to myself. One big reason why I'm doing so much now is I'm tired of the feelings of regret and hopelessness. Now's the time to turn it all around and do more while I can.

And to people who underestimated and didn't believe in me, my revenge is getting better and striving to be the best I can be. Here goes nothing.