Table of Contents
So… you may be wondering about my recent departure from my job. I’ve been getting this a lot lately. So I made this FAQ for the curious: the what’s next, the why, and how you can support me.
Where’s your new job at? Which company?
No company, nor do I plan to go to another one (for now?).
Then why are you leaving?
The common assumption at work seemed to be I wasn’t chosen for a more senior role (which sounds nice on paper, but it didn’t feel like my future). Officially, it’s the lack of learning opportunities. In reality, I want more flexibility — in what I work, how I work and live. That means working outside the standard 9-5 and creating space to make my own choices.
I noticed a pattern across my previous companies: I tend to start strong but slowly the indifference creeps in around the second year. Usually I cite “lack of growth” as my reason for leaving. Or maybe product management isn’t for me anymore, at least not long-term. But I think there has always been something deeper at play, a desire for something more meaningful.
Do you feel happier leaving?
People tell me I look lighter, that I have a glow during my notice period. No more work stress, after all. But my own feelings are mixed.
I feel relieved I no longer have to participate in the corporate rat race, and I get to leave on my own terms. There’s also peace in closing this chapter of life, moving to the next. However, it’s also paired with the anxiety of writing the next chapter myself.
So, what are you planning next?
The official story: Take a break, while work part-time or consult or freelance (still in product management) until I’m “ready” to go back to the workforce.
That’s partly true, but the real story is I want to dedicate the rest of this year to do more photography and writing. Not as a job — at least not yet — but more of a focused experiment, where I can give these creative experiments real time and energy to see what comes out of them. They might lead to a new career, or it might pave way for something else I haven’t thought of yet. Either way, it’s both exciting and terrifying.
Why this, why now?
I’ve been almost consistently writing and taking photos for some years, so there might be something hidden there that has yet to emerge. I just need space to dig a little deeper. I’m not getting any younger, so if I’m going to do this, now feels like the time.
It took me this long to leave a full-time role mostly because of the obvious fears that surround it: Fear of starting over, the unknown, the wrong choice, failure, running out of money. And, to be dramatic but honest, the fear of being fully responsible for choosing my own path of suffering.
L once told me to remember to take advantage of my privilege. I used to carry a lot of guilt for having a safety net. Growing up I always knew I come from a more fortunate family, so I tried to keep it low-key for fear I wouldn’t fit in my already small circle of friends. The fear shrunk over time, and in its place came more gratitude. With this realisation of my support allows me to do things I once held back from like taking trips without counting every cent, wearing my nicer clothes out, or taking workshops or short courses.
This safety net helped remove some of my fears. But the one thing that’s entirely on me is creating my own structure and path. Many people stick to the default and traditional routes, because it’s easier to outsource the responsibility. All we have to do is get a job, do the work, and be compensated fairly. When stress builds up, there are always coping mechanisms such as trauma bonding with colleagues, waiting for the weekend, or making travel plans. Even though it can be uncomfortable, at least there’s certainty and familiarity in the discomfort.
Entrepreneurship or doing your own thing takes a different level of resilience and mental fortitude to live with the uncertainty, and let go of the need to have control over everything. I’m not saying I’m built for this, but I don’t think I can tolerate staying in one place or leaping from one job to another forever.
I think I partly have my parents to thank for. Even though they’ve stayed loyal to a company for decades, they’re always been more like free agents working on their own schedule. I grew up thinking that kind of flexibility is normal. Maybe that’s why I always assumed life could be like that too (on top of other similar groups of people’s influences too).
I’ve spent the past decade working for someone, now it’s time to work for myself. At least I get to choose my own suffering and the discomfort of figuring things out.
Cool, but will you ever be coming back full-time?
Maybe. I don’t fully discount that idea, not until I’ve proven that I can or cannot sustain this /gestures widely/ path I’m going through. But I hope I’m determined enough to build something enough that I won’t need to.
What else will you be doing now?
At a high level:
- Build some form of structure in my daily routine, that’s for sure.
- Some small travel trips, unless a big trip(s) comes up.
- Maybe plan a surf trip end of this year too.
- Run other creative experiments.
- Learn to cook more food, so I can host nice cozy dinners for friends.
- Work on embracing the uncertainty and being kinder to myself, since it’s going to be a long journey ahead.
- Unlearn some bad habits. I want to consciously unclench and relax my shoulders and jaws, and reduce doom-strolling, to name a few.
Most of these are already what I set out to do anyway for this year.
How can I support you?
Thank you for thinking of me :’)
Maybe you can:
- Hire me for a short-term project (product management or creative work)
- Share your favourite photography and/or writing projects with me.
- Invite me to collaborate on creative ideas or projects. (No promises, but let’s chat!)
- Let me help your creative projects/work. Or shadow you 👀
- Send feedback on my work, or suggest related resources or inspiration.
- Reach out for a chat, feel free to check in with me anytime.
- Or maybe even buy me a cup of tea?
If I have more questions?
Just DM me on any of my active socials. I’ll still be around <3
