spaces in between

We live in a world that rarely pauses. Our screens slow, schedule piles, and even rest becomes something to be optimised. But I'm lucky to find myself drawn to the gaps and moments in between through my interests, and realise that life can gently unfold in those in-between spaces.

I have a range of interests that didn't make sense to me at first (not me questioning why, instead of just enjoying the what is). But recently they all started to come together. I started to see recurring themes and connections, which begun with photography.

I enjoy taking photos of slices of life, where there are spaces in between objects or people, where light and shadow play. I like capturing things as they are: not staged, ordinary, but there is beauty in them. I thought it was all there is, but there is one important component from my photography – to pause, feel, or examine what surrounds me within that space.

Most of the time, we operate on autopilot. We've been conditioned with the need to be constantly productive and optimise our lives, especially in the past decade. Even in the wellness space, people over-track and over-optimise every aspect of their lives – down to their sleeping methods instead of simply resting. While striving to be healthier is good, this obsession can ironically lead to burnout and distort our sense of self, neglecting the bigger picture of one's well-being.

Unbeknownst to us, our sense of worth gets tied to our "achievements", which gives us purpose, and also shape our identity. I do recognise that for the less privileged, making ends meet is the purpose of their lives. But for many, getting entangled in the vicious cycle of proving our worth can become unhealthy and overwhelming if we're not too careful. Take the retirees of our parents' generation: elderly adults who feel lost and purposeless without the jobs they tied their identity to for decades, because they know nothing else beyond work.

Some people now even need constant stimulation, restless at the thought of not engaging in a "productive" activity. Or maybe on a deeper level, afraid of being alone with their thoughts. Even while watching a movie, they're on their phones to "pass" time. Even during downtimes, they reach for their phones as disguised productivity or revenge procrastination after a long day of meaningless work. In a way, it's a sign of cynical resignation, because that's just how life works for them. In such a state, there is no time to pause.

Our way of life is being dictated by others, and our well-being is thrown off of balance, disconnecting ourselves and the world around us. But I believe we can resist. We have a stronger willpower to rewire ourselves to replace shallow dopamine loops or any unhealthy obsession with something more worthwhile. And "that something" differs for everyone – it could be building a community, prioritising your health, or working on a creative project. Whatever it is, it's up to us to explore and find out. It will also emerge when we have the courage to be comfortable with our own thoughts, reflective pauses, and fewer distractions.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
– Viktor E. Frankl

If we're able to take just a second to pause before acting, we may realise we have more power and freedom to choose our response. A driver cuts into your lane? Maybe they had simply forgotten, though they usually don't. It started to rain just before your run? Maybe you can train indoors or rest instead. The point isn't to suppress any feelings, but to feel them, then choose our response once you've let the space in.

What does it mean to create a space safe enough to pause and be with our thoughts? How do we create such spaces for ourselves? What feelings emerge from there? And how do we respond to them?

These are the thoughts that echo across my other interests, such as third (and fourth) spaces, my recent desire in hosting and holding space for others, and digital spaces – especially the cosier corners of the internet. At the core, it's the intimacy of using these spaces to slow down and deeply reflect on our actions to inform better decisions and behaviour.

I want to create and tend to the spaces in between – around me and within me – across different mediums. My work would live in these moments, where connection, beauty, and meaning can unfold. And in these spaces of stillness and intimacy, ultimately I hope to spark conversations around learning (unlearning), discovering, and making meaning to one's lives.

Physical spaces

My areas of interest: Home cafes, (hybrid) third places, fourth places, social clubs, hosting dinners

It's easy to tell if a space is put together with intention, or followed a template that's been repeated in other places. Think of the overused Japandi minimalistic style homes: simple, but detached and voided of care. I want to see people's personalities and inner worlds come to life through their taste in design. What kind of space have they crafted for themselves and others? But most of all, I like it more when a space is more than just a space. Not just in personality or care, but transformed into a space of gathering.

Cafes are always fun and some with interesting designs, but they usually revolve around catching up and exchanging life updates. I want to see more people creating new experiences together, beyond sharing a meal.

Maybe that's why I like the idea of hosting people at my home. I get to choose and set the tone: the environment, the warmth, the intimacy, and invite my friends together to hold space for them to be themselves.

Some questions I'm exploring:

• How might my inner world be seen through my personal spaces?
• How might I create warmth and invite authenticity from others in my spaces?

Digital spaces

My areas of interest: Digital gardens, calm tech, cosy web, digital intimacy

We shape our tools and, thereafter, our tools shape us
- John Culkin

Our attention and time have perpetually been hijacked by our devices, glued to our screens. If not for work, it's feeding off of social media feeds curated by the algorithm. We have become dependent. It's no wonder we've been dubbed as "users" by the tech industry, indirectly associating to drug users. These digital spaces have morphed our behaviours, often in ways that shape our social norms and even the physical world.

There was a time before social media became all-consuming, when staring at walls or boredom was natural. I'm not advocating to eradicate tech, because it's already too deeply woven in our lives. But I do advocate for reclaiming tech as they are, as tools, and nothing more. If anything else, we should build better tools and systems to live our lives outside of it.

Some questions I want to answer:

• How might I engage with digital spaces more intentionally?
• How might I build digital spaces where people can resist and aren't consumed by artificial dopamine loops?
• How might I design better narratives around technology?

Emotional spaces

My areas of interest: Writing, introspection, archiving, photography

It gets easier with practice when I take photos, but photography still slows me down to frame the photo before I take the shot. There are spaces in between my subjects, as if inviting you visually to stop and notice what I'm trying to convey and reveal. Visually, it's aesthetically pleasing. Emotionally, it's a prompt to reflect. I like to do the same with my writing, hopefully carving space to pause and inspiring others to question and discover something new about themselves.

It's also the same when I'm archiving things. They may be as simple as collecting quotes or stickers in my commonplace notebook, but they act as a reminder to step out of my bubble and think beyond.

Some questions I want to answer:

• How might I create a space safe enough for self-discovery?
• How might I encourage people to slow down and reflect?

Truth be told, I'm still not completely sure where I'm going with this. Though at this point, I'm glad I managed to connect my interests into something more coherent, translated from my thoughts into words.

I also know I want to keep tending to these in-between spaces and notice what emerges, where beauty and meaning will eventually unfold themselves.