turning 32 with 32 thoughts

I turn 32 today. I'm writing this from a glamping site tucked away from the city, getting some alone time to reflect for a bit.

I've noticed many of my woes come from my past attachments and worries about the future – nothing new, just very human things. One new thing I did this year is collecting quotes and advices on my commonplace notebook (though I really should have noted down the sources). I read them to remind myself that life is actually good and full of experiences.

So here we go. Some food for thought. These are 32 things that I've learned and am still learning.

1. It will be okay, but it will be different.
2. We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.
3. The version of you that you dream of becoming is already within you – just waiting for permission to exist.
4. You're not stuck; you're simply committed to a pattern that no longer serves you.
5. Most of the limits in your life were placed by you.
6. No amount of regret is going to change your past, and no amount of overthinking is going to influence your future.
   1. Similarly, all this overthinking and the outcomes are the same. Might as well not do the overthinking.
   2. re overthinking: you're trying too hard to rationalise your emotions. If you allow them to sit with you and move through your body (feel the sensations), you'll find them dissolving.
7. Take your emotions seriously, not literally. As in, your emotions are there for a reason, but don't let them overrun your life.
8. Do not borrow shame from the past. You are not that person anymore for you didn't know any better.
9. After a certain age, you are no longer the product of your environment or how you were raised. It's a personal choice to live the way you do.
10. Your commitment to your future has to be stronger than your attachment to your past.
11. Your ability to move on is dependent on how high your self-esteem and self-respect is.
12. The magic you're looking for is the work you're avoiding.
13. People who avoid conflict generally exchange external conflict for internal conflict.
14. Everything is uncertain. You've just gotten good at predicting certain things.
15. Don't conflate good decisions with good outcomes. A good decision only increases the probability of a good outcome.
    1. In the same vein, just because a decision hurts that doesn't mean it was a wrong decision.
16. No one speaks about the resentment you feel towards yourself after you didn't listen to your gut.
17. You waterboard your imagination with information and wonder why it does not spark.
18. Taking (long) walks in nature can make you realise how small most of your problems actually are, or that they weren't really problems at all.
19. It may take a while for your plans to materialise, but time will pass anyway, whether you take action or not.
20. If holding on is holding you back, then it's time to let go.
21. If you're afraid, do it afraid. Do it scared. Do it in discomfort. Do it worried. Just do it.
22. Sometimes what you need isn't motivation, it's discipline. But sometimes what you're avoiding is the feeling itself.
23. We should fear abandoning ourselves more than rejection itself.
24. It can be hard to change yourself, because there's resistance in your subconscious. You've formed an attachment towards your identity, believing this identity has successfully kept you "safe", based on the fact that you're still alive.
    1. Celebrate the change and embrace both sides, instead of forcing one out.
25. Do not kill the part of you that is cringe; kill the parts that cringe.
    1. A lot of times we don't do things that might feel "cringey", fearing embarrassment and judgement, but that's where the growth happens.
26. Life isn't an optimisation project. You don't have to track everything, get the perfect sleep, or "upgrade" yourself in certain things at every turn.
27. "birthdays are about allowing yourself to receive. your birthday shows you exactly where you’re at on this: if you hate compliments or resist receiving love, you’ll avoid, minimize or even dread your birthday." (Tweet by Isabel)
    1. It tells you a lot about a person. They're not used to (or live in fear) receiving love, believing all love is conditional and must be earned.
28. "most emotions just want to be acknowledged. when we meet them with love & warmth, they automatically start to relax. but when we meet them with fear & judgement, as something to be "fixed", they can increase in intensity" (Tweet by Scott)
29. Thinking about the feeling isn’t feeling the feeling. Talking about the feeling isn’t feeling the feeling. Writing about the feeling isn’t feeling the feeling (Tweet by Joe Hudson)
    1. lol which I'm still guilty of, but definitely working on it.
30. Meet yourself with love and curiosity, rather than fear and forcing.
31. "Do I deserve this?" "Am I worthy of this?" These thoughts are irrelevant. Do you want it?
32. "Who are you when there is nothing left to improve?" (Tweet by Joe Hudson)

Note: The advice that we receive from others are what works for them: They may not always apply to us, so take these advices with a grain of salt.